The trailer for Rings, the sequel/rebootquel to the early 2000’s horror film The Ring and The Ring Two (which technically could be called Rings as well, right?) debuted yesterday and horror fans everywhere responded with a resounding, “Huh…yeah, I guess that was a thing.”
The original (as in US remake of the Japanese film Ringu of course) The Ring was a huge phenomenon that struck a chord with most people I know. It’s a film that truly got to people. I wasn’t really one of them, which makes me want to search within my emptiness for the answer as to why, but yeah, people would freak out any time their cable went out expecting Samara to start crawling their way. In a world where people routinely scan their calls for at least the last 20 years, it’s a lot harder of a sell to have a monster that can only affect you if you answer your phone first. Unknown number? DECLINE! This new iteration may be taking itself too seriously, but it never was a “fun” type of horror by any means. In fact, what I will say about The Ring is that it has very consistent art direction and tone throughout. It just feels creepy and like something is off. Let’s take a look at the trailer:
If the movie is anything like this trailer, it’s bound to be frustrating to watch. The characters only seem to exacerbate things with their actions. It opens with the girl ripping down her TV and all its cables off the wall instead of, I don’t know… running away (I know you like your apartment, but just chill out in the lobby till that creepy girl gets bored, she’s a child, it won’t be that long). We’re then treated to a refresher of the original premise: you watch an art house film, get a call, and then you die in seven days (all avoidable things by the way). And it expands on the bodily effects this ‘curse’ has on its host: everything from psoriasis on the hands, to bloody noses, and coughing up hairballs – you name it and this trailer gives it away! The trailer finishes with an airplane full of panicked passengers as the ‘film’ plays on each of their seat back screens. This one scene alone may be worth the price of admission just for curiosities sake. It’s either a brilliantly written scene that will have a great payoff or it’s just some random bullshit that won’t make sense.
Rings stars a typical young actress (Matilda Lutz) who looks like a combined version of Jessica Alba, Lyndsy Fonseca, and Rosie Huntington-Whitley which is to say that she is nothing short of gorgeous, but in a looks-like-every-gorgeous-person kind of way. There’s also some other boyfriend dude, and Vincent D’Onofrio delivering exposition with an eye-patch. The title alone, Rings, sparks more questions than anything. Is it because there’s been a mass proliferation of wells? Is this what Aliens was to Alien? And if so, is it war this time? I honestly have no idea!
Rings opens October 28. I can wait!
All that is known about him is that he’s a Hufflepuff. Good lord, he won’t shut up about being a Hufflepuff.