It’s Spring in Stars Hollow and Rory is a full blown floozy.

That’s right, floozy! Before we dive in, here’s the Winter recap if you missed it. But anyways, floozy! Sure I could talk about Lorelai being conned into therapy by Emily. Or the Stars Hollow International Food Festival with 195 counties (15 of which are participating). Or the fact that we saw Mr. Kim


He was smaller and slimmer than I expected.

But no! Let’s talk about Rory Gilmore. The adulteress, narcissistic, privileged, regressed, educated, depressed, entitled 30 year old.

Her and Logan (MORE Logan? Where the eff is Jess?!) are having lunch and Mitchum Huntzberger of all people drops by and casually mentions that Logan is engaged to a woman out of country named Odette.

I rewound this a few times to make sure.

I was enraged for Rory before this, well, sort of. I mean, she was lying to her mom about seeing Logan. But how dare Logan lie about being engaged? What’s that? He didn’t? Rory knew? And was okay with this? What in the Christiane Amanpour is going on?

(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

I’ll tell you something that’s hollow in Stars Hollow. HER HEAD.

This was the nail in the coffin for me and Rory’s character. She wasn’t raised to cheat and lie. Sure, she’s privileged and educated and all of those things, but this level of immoral narcissism turned me fully against her.

gilmore-girls-a-year-in-the-life-spring-rory-chiltonI’ve wondered what it is specifically that did it for me. The adultery? Lying? Or the timespan? It’s all of it. You just shouldn’t do the first two and if you haven’t grown in a decade then what’s your purpose? As a human I mean. As someone we’re supposed to follow as a lead protagonist and feel compassionate about. Why should we care? We watched this character grow up before us. We were there to watch her learn, grow, and experience all of these big life moments as a pseudo parent. It’s profoundly troubling.

Later Rory calls Logan, who’s sleeping next to his fiancé, to actually ask Mitchum for help. Yeah, because that always works out. Did Amy Sherman-Palladino watch the last two seasons she didn’t run? Because this is all feeling very familiar. Rory’s also turning her nose up at writing for a website she hates called SandeeSays after they’ve been trying to woo her to work for them. The fun part about that is that Sandee is none other than Bunheads alum, Julia Goldani Telles. Oh, poor Rory, bless your heart. It’s a good thing you’re going to continue working with the obvious drunk lunatic Naomi Shropshire in a book deal with no contracts that’s surely going to pan out perfectly. I know Daniel Palladino wrote and directed this one, but can anyone tell me that a roomful of writers or even just Daniel and Amy thought this was a good idea and not visible from a thousand miles away? Speaking of seeing things from miles away…

Later at a Chilton alumni gathering she is offered yet another job as a teacher by the headmaster, but once again turns her nose up at that. Sucks to have people offering you jobs! And Rory would be a great teacher too. By far better than she writes. Can anyone think of how analytical her writing would be? It’s disappointing to see this job offer coming from so far away and also how it would be a great choice for Rory. This girl can’t stop tripping over her own feet, something she inherited from her mother.

What else is happening in Stars Hollow besides affairs and stupidity?

Lorelai and Emily continue therapy. Emily sees Lorelai and Luke’s relationship as being roommates and “booty buddies” which is now a favorite thing of mine to say. Emily ultimately quits therapy and tells Lorelai she’s learned nothing, something that she shares with her daughter. I agree with Emily here and think that she’s one of the few characters that is shown as processing and dealing with emotions in a real way and doing something about them instead of just going about her life for nine years doing nothing different. To be fair, that’s what she did with Richard, but that was her life with her partner for 50 years. Their routine. Her life consisted of cocktail parties and DAR meetings. After Richard passed she didn’t and still fully doesn’t know what to do, but she’s doing more than anyone else is to find out.

In Stars Hollow we have a town meeting discussing that there’s not enough gays in town. This sort of felt forced and was weird in our overly sensitive PC environment, but whatever, a town meeting! I love those! Later, Luke and Lorelai go to a screening of Eraserhead at the Black, White, and Red Theatre where Kirk is also premiering his second short film. You can watch his first short film here. The second short film tries too hard to be weird when the first was just weird. That’s probably why it won a Good Try Award obviously. This second one is too much, but I liked the Evil Dead homage when Kirk is burying Petal.

In the movie, Emily calls Luke of all people and wants to meet with him. Turns out that Richard left him money in his will to use specifically for franchising Luke’s Diner into an EMPIRE. Again, we’ve been here before and know how Luke feels about it and so should everyone including the creator of the show so why, WHY are we doing this again?

Maybe things are better over with Rory at this point?

What’s that? She had a one night stand with a Wookiee? Great! Well, Rory continues to do whatever the hell it is she’s doing! What I like about this is that she tells her mother and then reveals that she’s having an affair with Logan and Lorelai says, “If it makes you feel any better, sleeping with a Wookiee is was less sluttier.” Thanks for saying it Lorelai so I didn’t have to. I wanted to this whore article though! And Rory still hasn’t dumped Paul. Who? Exactly.

Stay tuned for my thoughts on Summer that continues to get me heated, but also gives me a revelation.

Heath Scott

Heath Scott

His love of most things in entertainment can be summed up by having an English Bulldog named Spielberg and consistently asking if it's Halloween yet.

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