This is the worst thing I’ve seen all year and I just saw a man be assassinated yesterday.
That emoji above’s name is, Meh. MEH. MEL MEH. Voiced by Steven Wright who cements himself firmly into the casket of his career. Also, Steven Wright is not dead.
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The first version of this piece of stank was presented in portrait mode. You know, in case you were too lazy to turn your phone sideways for the proper aspect ratio. 2016 is the freaking worst, right? Prince and David Bowie gone. Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice. The presidential election. Dammit…
In case you are a glutton for punishment like me, here is the official synopsis:
The Emoji Movie unlocks the never-before-seen secret world inside your smartphone. Hidden within the messaging app is Textopolis, a bustling city where all your favorite emojis live, hoping to be selected by the phone’s user. In this world, each emoji has only one facial expression – except for Gene (T.J. Miller), an exuberant emoji who was born without a filter and is bursting with multiple expressions. Determined to become “normal” like the other emojis, Gene enlists the help of his handy best friend Hi-5 (James Corden) and the notorious code breaker emoji Jailbreak (Ilana Glazer). Together, they embark on an epic “app-venture” through the apps on the phone, each its own wild and fun world, to find the Code that will fix Gene. But when a greater danger threatens the phone, the fate of all emojis depends on these three unlikely friends who must save their world before it’s deleted forever. Directed by Tony Leondis. Written by Tony Leondis & Eric Siegel and Mike White. Produced by Michelle Raimo Kouyate.
To which I say…